It was dark, foggy, and the air felt damp as I walked through the streets. I was taking
the short-cut home that night, I had a lot of home work to do I figured that I needed
to get a head start. I had turned down Lynn’s and Janelle’s invite to the video game
arcade. Which is where we usually hang out, that night walking down the street was
the loneliest that I have ever felt in my entire life. I was all alone. My worst fear had
come true, he left me all alone... how could he? - I rejected my friend’s pitty and
compation, I didn’t need anyone’s simpathy to make me feel better. Worse maybe but
they would only make it that. And family would never understand how I felt, they
never did and they never do, why would they now? They have no idea what I go
through, what I went through. And if they weren’t going to understand when I got
home I thought that I might as well just let the tears stream down my face now... His
picture, his memory flashing through my mind gave me chills down my back and
spine. And only made my cry harder, and the mist got thicker, the air damper. It
would rain tonight, and I was planning on getting caught in it so that for my now
ruined make-up - I would have an excuse. I kept thinking to myself how much I
believed him when he told me we’d never part ways.. He lied.. And hurt me 1,000
times greater than if he hadn’t said that at all. He stole my heart, and gave it back to
me shatered into tiney pieces. I have lost his.
Never to my found again, by anyone. He’s really gone... gone away from me, and no
one knows how I feel, no one could ever understand me, not my family - not my
friends. -Only him, but he is no longer with me, he’s with another now, they hold his
fate in their hands now. No longer is it I that has that job to do - for anyone. Not
him. And that’s all that matters, he’s all that mattered, and stills matters. I only pray I
will some day see him again, maybe not in this life-time. But the next.
My vision now blurred I couldn’t see anything, and was just concentraiting on
breathing and just struggling to walk, not where I was going. I knew the way home by
heart anyway. I almosted tripped, stepping in puddles and walking half way on the
side walk, I wondered off into the middle of the road. And moved, slowly, to the oher
side of the pavement. And there I sat for a long, long time thinking the same things
over and over and over again. - Why me? Why him? Why now? - But then a scary
thought struck me, Why not? - hadn’t I had every bad thing possible happen in my
life already. My family consisted of my mother and my two brothers. My father left
my mother seven years ago, and had died recently in a car aciedent. He had taken
custady of my youngest sibling - my sister Nicole. No one knows for sure what
happened to her... She was only two at the time the divorce took happening, she
turned 9 eleven days ago. I began to stand up off of the side-walk and walk -more of a
stubbled into the street. Moving like I was drunk, it was hard to see, the tears coming
down, it had already began pooring rain. And still the fog anf mist, and horrible
damp, cold air. I thought I saw lights and then shook off the thought, or sight and
began walking toward what I thought was the side-walk. But what really turned out to
be stubbling further down the road. Dead center in the road. Little did I know that I
was walking into a death trap, bretahing my last breath, crying my last tear, thinking
my last thought, and mumbling my last word... “Finally” - my last word as I lay on
the ground. Now gone as well, hopfully to join my love, I will be happier this way...
And I know this- so will everyone else.

BY: Shelly Wenner

My Message to the World